Fads—at least of the collegiate variety—draw from decades past. March through any liberal arts student union and you’re greeted with a salvo of 20th century sartorial relics. Tie-dye everything, down to skivvies; legwarmers lifted directly from Pat Benatar’s wardrobe; army regalia and fatigues reminiscent of 1940s esprit de cours.
But this resurrection of departed trends isn’t limited to raiment. Past ideologies are revived, romanticized, and circulated around campus via obnoxious mass e-mails. See: Students for Marxism. Legalize Ganja, Now! Amnesty International.
Just last week I saw a flier advertising Students for a Democratic Society (Ha!)
Yet some movements can’t penetrate campus’ moats of liberalism and adolescent idealism, no matter how promising or forceful. So: presenting a few crazes that couldn’t quite (but still may) take root:
McCarthyism
Roll your eyes during a class discussion of Adam Smith’s On the Wealth of Nations and you’re met with twitters, giggles, and a professor’s knowing smirk.
But filibuster a discussion on the perils of capitalism, finally standing up and hollering “Pink bastard!” and you’ll be at the Registrar in the bat of an eye.
You’d think a system that encourages rampant finger pointing and draconian reprimand would be popular at competitive institutions.
Jai Alai
The quad is teeming with offbeat, international, and wholly unpopular sports come springtime: bocce ball, cricket, soccer. Jai Alai equipment is relatively easy to come by—just a three-walled court, twenty-foot ceiling, and regulation xistera. This fast paced diversion, lauded by the Basque Government as “the fastest sport in the world” boasts everything: danger, criminal gambling circles, and a silent “j.”
NRA initiatives
Guns, guns. Why wouldn’t the average, granola-in-a-Ziploc-bag carrying undergrad support firearms? They help redistribute wealth in urban areas.
Off-brand cereals
A cardinal element of liberal arts education is feigning frugality and poverty despite the weekly checks floating in from mom and dad. Students sport deliberately frayed clothes, buy repulsive Salvation Army sofa beds, and neglect shaving for weeks—all the while driving their luxury sedans four blocks to class.
Take a look in their pantries, though, and the jig is up. Name-brand cereals (in boxes, no less) line the shelves. Lucky Charms. Wheaties. Whole grain, low calorie, preposterously costly Kashi.
Budget bags of Fruity Hoops and Cocoa Balls are the mark of a true college bohemian
(or struggling family of six).
